Changing Seasons

Going Out In Style: Location, Location, Location

2012-01-27T08:26:00.003-05:00

By Dee Oliver

When Johnnie died I remembered having long discussions with themen in his office about where he was to be buried. Until that moment I either had forgotten or didn't realize that Ihad so many choices!

Its kinda like getting dressed up and going into your closet andfor the first time realizing that you own six or seven pairs of black leatherpumps all very similar and all will match the dress that I am wearing but whichpair shall I choose?

Same problem here: Johnnie and I collectively own quite a bit ofcemetery property; some in Forrest lawn where a few of my family members arelaid to rest. There is a family lot in Saint Mary's cemetery where his parentsare buried and he had some more family plots in Elmwood, all of theseresting places are located in the city of Norfolk.

There is also an entire cemetery which he owned and loved (if youcan love a cemetery) in Suffolk; Nansemond/Suffolk Cemetery.

My family, besides owning the lots in Forrest Lawn, owns a lovelylot in Eastern Shore cemetery which is located in Virginia Beach right behindour beach office. That is where my mother, grandparents, and my aunt and unclereside.

Now came the decision, where shall he be laid to rest? Norfolkwas the first to be tossed out, there was not enough room for all of us and Iwasn't crazy about the location.

Which left Suffolk and the Beach,

Now Suffolk posed a bit of a problem because he loved that pieceof property. It is 40 acres of grass. If anyone knew this man they knew that heloved to cut grass. He thought it was a sport.

Remember that show Green Acres? Johnnie thought we should liveout there in a trailer. Me? Not somuch.

My family lot is wonderful and plenty of room there for all ofus. It is close to the office and our home. One problem though was that thefamily stone has Branch on it. We all felt that Johnnie needed a stone withOliver on it...after all, he's in the business!

So what’s a girls to do? That's easy she just buys more!! Just likeshoes!! Can’t ever have enough! Even if they all look alike and do the samejob.

So I bought six plots right across the little street from myfamily lot!!!

Perfect!

Close enough to my parents, far away enough from the in-laws.

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, again…..”us professionals” didn't really ever make thechoice about where we wanted to be buried. We kind of talked about it from time to time, but we never reallymake any definite decisions. Which left it up to me after he died.

So here I was again…..making another very important decision in ashort period of time causing me and the men at the office unnecessary stress.

Here is my advice to you; find out if your family owns any burialproperty, where it is located, how much space is available, and who's name ison the deed. The person who’s name is on the deed gives the permission on whois allowed to be buried on the lot.

Now if you need to buy burial property, go and look at thecemeteries. All cemeteries have a person on staff to help you with yourquestions. You can call ahead and make an appointment or stop in. The smallbuilding which is usually located at the front entrance is the office.

Some questions you might want to ask:

How much are the lots?

What kind of headstones do they allow?

Arethere sections for different religions? Some cemeteries have that options.

Do they bury two deep? Meaning I have 6 lots for Johnnie and Ibut the cemetery will allow burials two deep so I actually have 12.

Do they require youto buy their own vaults or can you buy one from the funeral home? A vault isthe concrete box that the casket goes into. It protects the casket from theweight above ground and helps to keep the ground level.

Are there any restrictions for flowers? Are you allowed to add plantings?

How much do they chargefor opening and closing the grave?

Can you add cremains later to the samegrave?

Now walk around, is the cemetery nice? Well manicured? Cared for?

Remember, cemetery property is an investment. So like anyinvestment you shouldn't wait until the death of a love one to make thesedecisions.

You spend the time selecting the neighborhood where you live now.You should spend some time looking and choosing where you will be forever.

So say your prayers, Say I love you, trust in God and try to GoOut in Style

Dee

The Hope Of Spring

2012-01-26T08:24:00.002-05:00

By Lisa Robertson

Last night was a late night for me. I was one of more than 200 women who gathered at the Princess AnneCountry Club to hear Mary Elizabeth Stone try to give us some perspective onthe past 3 years of her life. “TheHope of Spring in the Dead of Winter” was a vivid depiction of how she and herfamily survived. I wish that I hadtaken notes! So many insights, somuch wisdom, so much raw emotion and residual pain introduced in 3 short weeksof a 3 year marriage. Andthis young couple was still years away for turning 30.

Right now, on January 26, 2012, Mary Elizabeth and Meade arespanning the celebration of the birth of her twin boys 3 years ago, January 21,2009 and the tragic death of her son, Warren, 19 days later, the result of amedical accident.

To me, these days between Jan 21 and Feb. 8 are a surrealbridge of life and death for this young, sweet family.

Her insight thatis percolating with me this morning is this: “Warrenwas created for eternity.”

We see the death of Warren as a tragedy, and it absolutely was. Yet, the truth is that ourunderstanding of life and death is miniscule when compared to greatness of Godand eternity. Today, we have lostthe thought of eternity because everything we think we want or need isavailable to us in an instant! We don’tknow much about eternity, except that it lasts a loooooong time and that it is inheaven with God, our Father, and Jesus His Son.

Eternity is our hope of spring in the dead of winter. Thehope of eternity is what brings us life, when everything in our world seemsdead; we don’t get a broken life,but God gives us a healed and full life.

Even when life stinks, God’s presence is still our best option. Our only hope is God coming to us whennothing makes sense, our hearts are broken and we can’t stand the pain. He helps to keep moving and gives usthe strength to take the next step.

"In Your presence there is fullness of joy, at Your righthand, there are pleasures forever.”

Psalm 16:11

This is one of life’s great miracles: In the midst of death there islife. In the dead of winter, wehave the promise of spring.

Thepromise of spring is the promise of God filling our life with His peace, Hispresence and His purpose.

Revelation 21:4 contains a dramatic description ofheaven, “He will wipe every tearfrom their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.All these things are gone forever."

So many things don’t add up or make sense. We can’t wrap ourlife in a neat little perfect package and expect God to fit in. But God...His faithful love will carry us through this dreary seasonof what appears to be dead and lifeless only to reveal His life; abundant life and the promise of spring.

To Be More Like Christ

2012-01-25T09:30:00.000-05:00

Pain gives us depth. Struggles mature us. Suffering produces character, refining us and smoothing out the rough edges. We have all heard these sentiments and probably agree with them on an intellectual level. However, if you are anything like me, you do not enjoy pain or delight in the suffering this life can bring across your path.

My heart was heavy a couple months ago, as a seemingly neutral message from a friend catapulted me right back to the raw, excruciating pain of the early days when my twins were born, when they were struggling, when Warren died and a huge hole was left in my heart. In keeping with how I have felt so often the past three years, I could not wrap my mind or heart around the fact that nothing, absolutely nothing, this side of heaven will ever be able to “fix” this or fill the gaping holes created by our trauma and my son’s untimely death at 19 days old.

In moments such as these, I can intellectually comprehend why we experience pain but my heart simply cannot get there. When the rubber hits the road, sometimes our neatly packaged theological understanding of pain and loss cannot carry us when the holes unexpectedly rip through our hearts. Our intellectualizations crumble under the weight of our reality – when we are left wondering how to carry on.

On this particularly hard day, I was talking to my mom and she remarked that the pain we endure does have a purpose if we do not let our hearts become bitter and hardened. She explained that the purpose is to make us more like Christ. Due to what my family has both lost and continued to undergo, I have a difficult time masking my thoughts and feelings anymore. So, I bluntly asked, “Why, Mom? Do you ever wonder why it is a good thing to be more like Christ? I know that is the ‘right answer’ and that is what we tell ourselves, but if I am honest, all I want much of the time is for my children to be healthy and happy.”

Even as the words rolled out of my mouth, the Lord whispered to my heart, “Mary Elizabeth, the things you love most about yourself – your fierce devotion to your children, your desire to put your family’s needs above your own, your willingness to come alongside your husband with unwavering loyalty – those are all my qualities. I am working through you in the parts of yourself you most dearly value.”

Through God’s sweet grace, it hit me. Although I am a sinful woman with deep flaws, I can see glimpses of Christ within me. Since the aspects about myself I actually cherish are more factually Christ at work within me, then yes – I do want to be more like Christ. And if it takes pain at times to become like Him, then I pray I will welcome it.

I keep asking...

2012-01-24T11:00:00.003-05:00

By Trish Ryan

This is one of my favorite prayers...especially in moments when I'm not sure exactly how to pray. I adapted it from a book written by a pastor in the early 1900s (Oh HOW I wish I could remember which one!) who described how each day, he took Paul's prayers for the people of Ephesus and asked God for those same blessings: wisdom, revelation, knowledge, God's power...incredible, awesome things.

Whatever is going on in your life today, I invite you to give it a try:

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that I may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened in order that I may know the hope to which he has called me, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

I pray that out of his glorious riches God may strengthen me with power through his Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. And I pray that I, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within me, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Don't Be Tardy For the Party

2012-01-23T12:32:00.000-05:00

A little pic from the fabulous party. So bummed I didn't take more!

By Elizabeth Robertson Williams

Last week, in honor of my birthday, my sweet, beautiful friend Catherine, flawlessly executed a fabulous little tapas party for me.

Catherine's middle name might as well be "hostess with the mostest." Ya'll, she is SO gifted.

To prepare for the party, she arranged beautiful flowers, cut magnolia for her front porch planters, made incredible sangria, researched my favorite dessert, AND threw together some tasty tapas.

She also decided that hosting a party was a great time to pull her house together and finally got around to making (yes, making) a beautiful headboard in their bedroom and sewed some fabric to go over her decorator's table in the main room.

And if that wasn't enough, she also organized the invites and instructed the guests to each bring a tapa and wear cocktail dresses (I just LOVE an excuse to be fancy!)

I can't tell you how loved I felt. If you're lucky enough to have a friend in your life like Catherine, one that you SO don't deserve, you know what I'm talking about.

The week before the party, I kept asking her what I could do, and she would always reply, "Nothing, it's your party. All you have to do is show up."

So that's what I did. I showed up and the party was amazing! I don't think I'll ever be able to thank Catherine enough and fully convey how much her extravagant labor of love meant to me.

Since then, I've been thinking a lot about the party and if you really look at it, there's nothing that I did to earn or deserve such a lovely party. A birthday party isn't a party because you did anything—it's not fueled by getting married, having a baby, graduating, or retiring. It's a party simply because you were born, and I really didn't have any control over my birth—one day, I was just born.

Similarly, there is nothing we can do to earn or deserve God's lavish, abundant love for us. We are so undeserving, but God, so rich is He in mercy, chooses to love us, in spite of ourselves. Each day, He's ready to throw us a party using only the best of the best and there's nothing we can do; we can't even bring anything. All we have to do is show up. Talk about an incredible gift!

He brought me to the banqueting house,
And his banner over me was love.

Song of Songs 2:4 (NKJV)

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

Revelation 3:20 (NKJV)

I've never quit loving you and never will.
Expect love, love, and more love!

Jeremiah 31:3 (MSG)

Going Out In Style: Stuff

2012-01-20T14:09:00.002-05:00

By Dee Oliver

I neversaw a u-haul following a hearse to the cemetery……………..

Lookaround your home. See all of that stuff?

You knowthe stuff.....the things in the garage, the attic, basement, your linen closet,china cabinet, kitchen cabinets, jewelry box, the art work, family photos, the nicknacks, look at it allclosely. Isn't it lovely??

All ofthese items bring you and your family pleasure. Belongings you've acquired over the years of marriage, thingsthat have been past down from your parents or grandparents.

All of these objects should have a warning label on them"Beware: Danger after Death. May Cause Family Fallout!

Let meexplain...

Most people have wills drawn up. If youhaven't done this please do! For the most part wills are composed of the largeassets you own, but not always the little (some valuable, some not) itemsthat can leave your children never speaking to each other again.

Impossible? No, very probable!

Crazywhat a bunch of books, a frying pan, and old nicknacks can do to rip apart a family.

I knowthis could never happen in yourfamily.

In yourfamily, everyone gets along, they all love each other.....you taught them howto share!

Well, youare dead wrong!

I haveseen these fallouts start in the office, continue thru the funeral service, andcarried right on out to the grave. Lord only knows what happens after that.

I amashamed to admit it but.....even in the "professional" families thisevent has been played out.

Peopleget extremely emotional, sentimental, and I hate to say greedy over"things".

So gatheryour children together and start by pulling out your prizedpossessions. Take the time to tellthem about each item, where it came from, who bought it and what the occasion was.

Whatabout the furniture? Do you have a set of family china? How about yourgrandmother's silver.

Familyphotographs, the blanket your aunt knit, dad's toolbox, those chipped juiceglasses.....there will be an argument over those. Because everyone remembersdrinking their juice out of those glasses every morning before going off toschool. Every item has meaning to each family member.

I havesome friends whose mother wrote on the back of every piece of art work she everbought. She listed the cost of the piece, the date she bought it, where it camefrom, and who she was with when she purchased it. Now that she is gone eachpiece is a treasure part of their family history. I love this idea.

My owngirls love their dad's wristwatch, he wore it everyday for twenty seven years, Idoubt it is worth much. But the memory of him wearing it is priceless.

If yourchildren are young do it for them. You can even tape it all on video.

Leteveryone help in the decision selection, write it all down.

Now thatit is just the girls and I, we have pretty much discussed who would like tohave what. It is interesting to find out what objects mean the most to eachone. Besides, I am not really surethere would be any survivors if they were left to their own and had to duke-it-out.

RememberI taught them to share........

This isprobably one of the most teachable times you will have with your family; notonly do you get the opportunity to tell them and share stories about theirancestors and your family history, but you are securing the future of yourfamily after you both are gone. You arehelping to extinguish the fires of jealousy, hate, greed and discontent amongthe most precious possessions you have: your children.

It hasalways broken my heart to see families torn apart over inanimate objects. So make anenjoyable memory for your familyand be a part of their future even after you are gone.

Say yourprayers, say I love you, trust in God, and try to Go Out in Style,

Dee

The Path Part II

2012-01-19T08:46:00.002-05:00

Image via Pinterest

By Lisa Robertson

So last week, I talked a bit about paths. Today, I want to share with you a few ways I've learned how to discover God's best path for me.

When you're following a path, it's always important to be aware of where the path is leading you.

Several years ago, I was hiking in Colorado with some of mychildren at a Young Life family camp, when we discovered a path. Being a mountain girl, who was familiar with paths, we jumped right inand began to walk, and walk and walk. My expectation was that Young Life was a friendly place and their pathwould be scenic and safe. Thispath was scenic, but I could tell that it was leading us further and furtheraway from the camp.

Finally, good sense prevailed and I decided that weneeded to turn around and walk back the way we had come. The sun was setting, dinner was goingto be soon and we needed to get back to camp before dark.

Upon our return, we learned that we had found a famouspath that started in Denver and ended in Aspen. This journey is a 6 hour car ride. We started about half way through and we could have walkedfor days before finding the end.

That little experience helped me develop some path rules, which are also great life rules:

1. Pray to see yourpath.

2. The best path is not asecret.

3. Choose your pathwisely.

4. Follow the path, closely. You may only see a few steps at a time,be willing to take the next step.

5. Watch the signsand follow the directions. Pay attention! Dangers lurk whenyou are off the path. If you get off the path, return as soon as possible. The longer you wander, the closer youare to trouble.

6. There are atleast 247 references to paths and roads in the Bible. Remember that a life path is important and your path matters to God.

7. God has prepareda path for each life, make it a priority to seek and find His path foryou.

I have shown you the way that makes sense; Ihave guided you along the right path.

Proverbs 4:11

Baby-proofing for the Younger One

2012-01-18T08:30:00.000-05:00

Recently, I have been baby-proofing our house. Almost three years into parenting, and the time has come to stick the outlet covers in the sockets, purchase safety gates to block the stairs, and move lamps to the few safe places I can find.

I remember a year and a half ago or so, a well-meaning friend told me to be thankful John wasn’t crawling yet… that when he did, he’d be into everything, and “Boy, will you be in trouble!” Yes, there were tears shed over those remarks after I simply nodded and smiled like what she said didn’t faze me.

So here I am, baby proofing – not for John (not yet at least), but for Daniel, my 7 month-old explorer. It is not uncommon to find him discovering new places to pull up, even once up inside a chair.

And I had to laugh at the irony of the situation when I turned around for one minute to stick a few safety plugs into outlets and then found Daniel on the landing having just crawled up 5 entire stairs. Until then, I didn’t even know he could do that!

Let me emphasize how very grateful we are for Daniel’s milestones. Without a doubt, we are incredibly grateful for all that both of our boys can do in this very moment and mostly for just WHO they are and the joy they bring us.

But time is a funny and evasive thing, especially when it seems to be “out of order” or not going according to my desired or anticipated timeline. Watching Daniel achieve one milestone after another activates a few things in my heart:

1) I am in awe… just in utter awe. How is this skill or that so effortless? How did it just appear over night? Do people realize the miracles I behold every single day?! Do their jaws drop as ours do when their child does something new (and then for the next 100 plus times he does that same exact thing)?

2) I am grateful. We have learned not to take anything for granted and more importantly to celebrate each step our boys take, big and small.

3) Sometimes, I am sad if I’m honest. Daniel’s strides can be bittersweet for a Mama who also wants so much for her older son. Daniel can crawl and get to me whenever he wants or needs me while John cannot. Fortunately, I am blessed with an amazing husband who reminded me that John is able to get to me in other ways. He lets me know when he needs me through his sweet coos (okay, sometimes they are more like enraged groans!).

What a blessing it is to know that our times are in the Lord’s hands. His timeline may be different from mine, but HIS is perfect. We operate within linear time with finite perspectives, whereas God is both above time and sovereign working within time… even if that means baby proofing for my younger one first, only having had 19 days on earth with my son Warren, or fighting against the “what if’s” for John’s future.

I pray we can all savor this very moment, as crazy or disordered as it may seem – for this is the one we have been given. If we are only looking to the unknowns of the future or the sorrows or triumphs of the past, we will be robbed of the beauty in this present moment that passes so quickly.

I pray today we can enjoy exactly where we are. I know I am truly blessed. I can say that with 100% assurance. I pray you will feel God’s blessings today as well.

Mini Detoxes

2012-01-16T08:19:00.001-05:00

By Elizabeth Robertson Williams

One of my most favorite discoveries of 2011 was Birchbox, a monthly subscription that delivers 4-5 sizable cosmetic samples right to your door. I'm a sucker for cosmetics, so it's been so fun to try new nail polishes, face creams, perfumes, face wash, and concealer. It's just a little thing each month that makes me incredibly happy!

This month's box was all about clarity in the new year and within the box, they included a few ideas for some mini detoxes. They're so simple and attainable, I thought I'd share them with you!

Mini Detoxes For...

Your Mind: Turn off your computer, iPhone, or Blackberry one hour before bed. You'll sleep soundly and wake up sunny, not stressed.

Your Relationships: Send your grandma a handwritten note, give your little sister a call, or tell a colleague they're doing a great job.

Your closet: Take out anything that makes you feel less-than awesome and donate it to a charity like Dress for Success.

Your Diet: Cut our processed foods for a few days. Focus on fruits, veggies, whole grains, and plenty of dark chocolate.

Your Bathroom Cabinet: Check expiration dates and throw out any products past their prime.

Isn't that simple?! Happy detoxing!!

Click here to learn more about Birchbox here. It also makes a GREAT gift!!

Going Out In Style: Obituaries

2012-01-13T12:45:00.002-05:00

by Dee Oliver

"It's going to be a good day; I read the newspaper and my name wasn't listed in the obituaries……….."

I am sure if you have read my other blogs, you know that if I am writing about it, it's probably because "us professional" didn't get around to taking our own advice…..again….!

It seems as if I wrote Johnnie's obituary yesterday--it was done at the office with one of his co-workers/friends. I remember the overwhelming feeling of having to get it written and into the paper on time. The pressure of having to write something, anything, that would be worthy of the man that I loved and admired was daunting--how was I going to do this? Funny, if you ask me today about Johnnie I could tell you everything he ever did…but that at that moment in time, I couldn't remember anything that he had done in his life and even his friend was having a hard time…..Later, I realized we had left out a few things and even to this day it bothers me.

When you die someone is going to write your obituary, either your spouse, one of your children, a close relative or friend, or maybe even the funeral director.

So ……..

I really, really want you to think about doing this yourself and here is why:

One of the most important reasons is that writing the obituary can be one of the most stressful parts of funeral planning on the family.

People panic at the thought of having to write an obituary. Not only can they suddenly not remember any of the things or places that you have done or been too, but there is a deadline to the newspaper for when it needs to be submitted. This is an unneeded pressure at such a stressful time. If you are able to eliminated this from you family, well why wouldn't you?

Not sure how to get started? Open the paper to the obit section and there is your template.

What you read, is what you should write.

The funeral home will write the fundamentals, all you need to do is add the body (no pun intended).

The other reason to write your own obit is you! Who knows you, better than you?

You might actually enjoy being your own author. You are the master of the pen!!!

This could be your 15 minutes of fame and you get to be published!!!

How great thou art!!!!

Try not to embellish too much or you will really be the talk of your own funeral!!!

And this is NOT platform to lash out in print at everyone that has offended you over the course of your life. It's also not the time for you to expose the family secrets….… this would not be considered in good taste and would only result in a thinner crowd at your funeral.

Do be factual, include the accomplishments and events in your life that you would like others to know about and remember.

List your memberships to organizations and clubs.

If you have favorite charities for people to donate to, list those also.

This can also be a kind of a fun and interesting thing to do with your spouse or children, it gives everyone the opportunity to talk about all the things you have done, and ask questions about your life. They might learn about you in a way that they never had a chance to before.

Photos can be attached to your obituary, but do try to find a somewhat current one.

If you are in your senior years and you send in your college photo the calls coming in might not be about how sorry they are to hear about your death, but an inquiry about who your plastic surgeon was.

I know that I need to have my dad write his own (actually I think he has). And now with my mother gone I don't have her vivid memory to help me with all of his many achievements and accomplishments. I was either too young to remember or to self absorbed as a teenager to have noticed.

He is a wonderful man who I am extremely proud of, but I don't know enough about of him to do him justice in his obituary.

I started thinking about my own obituary and if left up to my three girls today….what they would come up with...

I believe it would go something like this……

Deona Chesley Branch Oliver

of Virginia Beach, Virginia

Born July 5, 19?? (she would never tell us her age)!

Daughter of Jacquie and Deon Branch

Widow of Johnnie Oliver (they probably wouldn't write out his whole name)

Born in California (about here would be an argument about where in California I was born so they would leave it as is)

Went to Norfolk Catholic High School (here they would break out in laughter because they think that is funny, I do not know why)

Graduate from a college (they won't remember where) went back to college and got a mortuary science degree.

Worked with our dad in the family funeral business and when she wasn't doing that she could be found at the gym, playing tennis, or attending garden club meetings.

She talked a lot on the phone….…A lot!

She made us go to church.

She loved God, our Dad, the three of us and her friends very much.

Her dogs followed her everywhere she went.

She had a lot of cousins!!! (they always say that)

About now they would have gotten bored and decide that it was complete.

They would probably decide to place a photo in the paper; another argument would ensue over which one to use, at this time the funeral director would have to choose the photo.

There you have it.

Need I say more????

If you like this…don't write one, if you prefer to have yours a bit more polished then start writing and make everyone happy!!

And let someone know where it is, you can even it give to the funeral home and they will start a file and keep it for you.

Say your prayers, say I love you, trust in God, and try to Go Out in Style….

Dee

The Path

2012-01-12T12:20:00.001-05:00

Image via Pinterest

By Lisa Robertson

As a child who grew up in thefoothills outside of Denver, I learned the importance of following thepath. I had a path when I walkedto school. (Yes, we walked toschool even in the snow, rain and heat.) There was a path to my friends houses, and even a path to the bathroomsat the community ski hill.

These paths were all created longbefore I was walking, by people who were older and more experienced. Each path had a beginning, an end andmost importantly, a destination.

Several months ago, I waspreparing teaching tools for Faithful Beginnings and one of them was aboutfollowing God’s path. This sent meon a search though the Bible to see what God said about paths.

Following a path is animportant Biblical truth. It is mentioned hundreds of time in the Bible.

In my quick research I learned that there are mentions ofstraight paths, crooked paths, rocky paths, evil paths, a path to the Tree ofLife, and a even a path through the parted Red Sea.

Psalm 16:11 is one of mylifetime verses that has guided me to make decisions and given me confidence onthe paths that I have chosen.

“You will make know to me thepath of life. In your presence,there is fullness of joy. At yourright hand there are pleasures forever. “

Do you understand what this is saying?

God will make known to me thepath for my life. He doesn’t keepHis guidance to me a secret. Hemakes it known and if I am looking, I will find it.

If I follow God’s path, thepromise is that I will find joy, but not just joy, but full joy. If I stay in God’s presence, He willgive to me pleasures forever.

What a motivating word forseeking God’s path!

“Whether you turn to theright or the left, you will hear a voice saying, “This is the road. Now followit.”

Isaiah 30:21

Happy Trails!!

Time Warp

2012-01-11T08:30:00.000-05:00

Happy Wednesday!

Here we are, in the middle of yet another week. Sometimes it just blows my mind how time can fly. The hours pass, the days accumulate, and before you know it, another month (or year!) is in the rearview mirror.

I mean, this is the year I will turn 30! My son John will be 3 in a couple of weeks, and my tiny newborn somehow became a busy 7 month-old over night!

So often, time seems to evade me. I want to capture it, log its memories in a journal, make it stand still, or squeeze all I can out of an anticipated moment in order to savor that time (and often end up stifling it in the process).

Fortunately, our God created time, is over time, and transcends time. Our times are in His hands. And as we struggle with the concept of time, wanting more of it, hoping it will pass more quickly, or simply wanting it to stand still so we can capture it, God draws us to Himself. We bring our sense of urgency, and God quiets our hearts. He is bigger than time. He uses it and, through it, is making everything beautiful. He knows how we will spend our days and has magnificent plans for the gift of time He has given us. Let us walk freely with open hands ready to embrace this gift rather than fearing it.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Ecclesiastes 3:11

"From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’"

Acts 17: 26-28

The Tomatoes of Time

2012-01-10T10:48:00.003-05:00

By Trish Ryan

I'm a total sucker for time-management techniques. I'm a little bit in love with the idea that time can be "managed" (because in my experience it's pretty incorrigible), and it's fun to get a peak into how other people spend their days.

Two days ago, I read about a new idea for increasing productivity called The Pomodoro Technique. It's pretty simple: set a timer for 25 minutes, work diligently & resist distractions, when the timer goes off, stand up and move around for 5 minutes. Then repeat. Not exactly nuclear fusion. What enticed me about this system wasn't it's format, but it's name: When the founder first tried this, he used a kitchen timer in the shape of atomato. He came to think of each 25 minute unit of time as "a tomato"...which in Italian is called "a pomodoro." Thus, an entire business--a book, website, helpful worksheets--was born.

Now, I can't think of a single day over the past 10-12 months where approaching my to-do list in 25 minute segments would be anything less than weird. It's just not that sort of season. But for some reason, the image of time coming in units of produce makes me hilariously happy. (If Forrest Gump can see life like a box of chocolates, it's not too far to stretch to imagine each new day as a new box of tomatoes, right?)

Yesterday morning, I had a "3-and-a-half tomato meeting." How fun is that? Then later, when my schedule was thrown off by a phone call from a friend I haven't had a chance to talk to in awhile, I had this funny mental picture of all my well-planned tomatoes being hurled into the air, and thought, "Well, I guess I'm making sauce..." It was a fun perspective change, a way to recognize that in my daily efforts, I'm not always aware of the larger recipe being mixed together. In Biblical, non-tomato terms, in our hearts we plan our steps, but God determines our course. (Proverbs 16:9)

So this morning, as THAT DOG and I slogged around the block in the early morning cold, I told God, "Here...I'm giving you all my tomatoes. Please make them into whatever You'd like."

I don't think we control our tomatoes. I'm okay with that :)

Goodness & Mercy

2012-01-09T07:47:00.002-05:00

By Lisa Robertson

I often joke with my family that when I am a really oldlady, I want to have two fluffy dogs and name them “Goodness” and “Mercy”. Why “Goodness and Mercy?

Because Psalm 23: 6-clearly states:

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of mylife;
And I will dwell inthe house of the LORD forever.

I can see myself with these two slipper-like dogs followingme throughout the house. If I amlonely or bored, I will call my dogs Goodness and Mercy to my side.

All kidding aside, when I take the time to be thoughtfulwith the Psalm 23, it promises change my perspective and my life:

The Lord ismy shepherd; I have all that I need...

The first promise is for guidance and provision of all thatI need. All meanseverything. We lack nothing withChrist.

He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me besidepeaceful streams. He renews mystrength.

Rest, peace, renewal, refreshment and strength are his giftsto us. The Lord is our source for all of these benefits.

Heguides me along right paths bringing honor to his name.

There are so many references to paths in the OldTestament. My understanding of a path is that it is well-traveled, has a beginningand an end, a destination. People have traveled this path before me.

God goes before me, if I follow Him, I will be in the bestplace in life.

Even whenI walk through the darkest valley, Iwill not be afraid, for you are close beside me.

There is nothing to fear when we walk with God. “Do not be afraid” is one of the mostused expressions in the Bible. Godis with me. This truth gives me courage and strength. An insight that I havenever forgotten is that “Fruit grows in the valley.” We don’t need to fear the dark valley, if we are followingGod. Chances are that we will grow there.

Yourrod and your staff, protect and comfort me.

Rod and staff might seem harsh, but the promise is for discipline,leadership, protection and comfort! What a great God.

Youprepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.

We can be so secure with God that we can feast even when ourenemies are close by. However, our focus has to be on God and not on theenemies if we want to enjoy the feast.

You honor me by anointing myhead with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.

God honors us by equipping us to serve by equipping us with good gifts. Our lives are saturated with His extravagant gifts andblessings. Extravagant, not adequate.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursueme all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

Goodness, mercy, and unfailing love will actually followus. We follow God and goodness andmercy follow us, forever!

Contained in these 6 short verses are a summary of a lifelived in a relationship with God. No one knows for certain how old David was when he wrote these words,but many think that he might have been an older king at the time. If that is true, these are not justwords for a young person looking to her future, but also for an older personlooking back on God’s incredible faithfulness throughout life.

Goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.

Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life.

Ps. 23:6 (Message)

Going Out In Style: The Name Game

2012-01-06T20:01:00.001-05:00

By Dee Oliver

Have you ever reallylooked at your mail? Take a look at it, who are the bills addressed to?

This is one of thoseeveryday things that most people don't pay much attention to.

The bills are deliveredto your house, one of you writes the check, then the water flows, lamps arelit, the phone is ringing and the heat and ac are humming right along.

All things are right withyour world…..and no one gives it another thought….until the primary name on these and otheraccounts is no longer here.

This is when the namegame begins--you can sort of continue to pay all your bills without the otherperson present on earth--that is until the moment there is aproblem, repair, or a change to an account.

Most companies, andutilities will have no issue transferring the primary name over to thesurviving spouse with a copy of the death certificate. But like many things in life, there are theexceptions….

When Johnnie died therewasn't much of an issue with the gas company, power company, or some of the credit cards--Nordstroms wasdelightfully accommodating!

And to this date thereare still a couple of things that are still in his name such as the water /sewage andthe telephone.

I don't think the water/sewage company really cares about the name game just as long as the bill getspaid, but the phone company…well they had a much harder time acceptingJohnnie's death than I did.

After many attempts tohelp them understand that he was no longer with us, I finally gave up and just decided to let Verizon be in denial about his death, and I believethey are good with that.

So whenever they have come to my home for a repair Ijust pretend that Johnnie is at work, that way the problem is fixed noquestions asked.

I am not sure if this isthe best solution…..but it is working for now.

What's the old saying? Agirl's gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

Unfortunately not everyone is so easilysatisfied;…. hence the mortgage company (this was a blue job in our home) yousee my name was on the deed to the property, but not on the mortgage for thehouse.

These people adamantlyrefused to speak to me at all, even though I was trying to pay them and theyhad in their possession an original copy of the death certificate . It didn'tmatter, they continued to be difficult and frustrating on all accounts.

Every phone call started out the sameway "We are sorry for your loss Mrs. Oliver but we cannot discuss thedetails of the mortgage with you, only Mr. Oliver". Even my tears didn'tpersuade them.

At one point I eventhought of going to get Johnnie and bringing him to them (onlykidding)…. Of course this should only be done by professionals. :-)

In the end the house wasre-mortgaged to get it out of his name and into mine and I ended up with abetter interest rate! That would become one ofthe many blessings we received from God.

I had the same problemwith the car, an old insurancepolicy, and the alarm system; We had never used the alarm before….but I wantedthe security of the alarm since I was alone. First time….I set off the alarm!

Did I know the code or password????

NO! Again with, “We are so so sorry for your loss….Mrs. Oliver"

Are they really???

They would not call offthe police until they could speak to Mr. Oliver. Funny thing, none of thesepeople ever wanted to speak to him before.

This went on until Ithought that I had finally transfered over everything into my name. With the exception of thewater/sewage and phone.

Until……….

Just last month I wantedto be able to get my e-mail on my phone…simple?

Never!

That is when I found out that I did notknow the password to our cox e-mail account. I didn't know there was a passwordand I don't think if John was here he would have known it either, but he is theprimary on the account….."Sorryfor your loss Mrs. Oliver….since we are unable to speak with Mr. Oliver we willhave to cancel your account, delete all your e-mails and folders and start anew account."

Really???? Really???? This is four yearslater….Please.

This time I was able(with a lot of prayer) to work my way through the system and got a person thatwould help me and fix the problem.

I realize that these inthemselves are small matters to deal with, but if you compound them the deathof a spouse or even a parent, these everyday issues become exhausting,exasperating, and completely overwhelming leaving you to wonder if your world is ever going to be the same as itonce was.

So while these are stillsmall and just somewhat annoying problems to sort out, take the time to doublecheck on them.

Then when (not if) thishappens to your family you will be a bit better prepared

Here are some additiional other items you might want to take alook at and/ or at least find out where they are!!!

Bank accounts

Safety deposit Box; areboth your names on the signature card? Where are the keys?

Do you have a secret bank account ? Be careful or it couldbe a secret forever.

Pin numbers, passwords, P.O Box?

Stocks/ bonds?

Where are those BirthCertificates? You will need that when a death occurs.

Passports? InsurancePapers?

Your Will…..don't have one? Get one!

Were you in the military?? Where oh where are those discharge papers??? You’ll need it for the flagthat you are entitled to!

So…….

Say your prayers, say Ilove you, trust in God, and try to go out in style!!!

Dee

Made To Crave

2012-01-05T08:14:00.001-05:00

By Elizabeth Robertson Williams

At the start of the New Year, many women proudly declare that we will eat less, exercise more, and finally shed those unwelcome pounds. I seem to unsuccessfully declare this every year, only to find myself completely derailed once the Valentine's Day candy hits the stores. I just love myself a good conversation heart!

Have you found yourself here again in 2012? Former Changing Seasons speaker, Lysa Terkerust has written a wonderful book on tackling your problem with a little help from God and the truth found in His Bible.

I found her devotional this week extremely encouraging. Click here to read it. She is also offering a lot of encouraging insights on her blog this week.

Or, head here to check out her book, Made To Crave, on satisfying our deepest desire with God, instead of food.

Watch below to here to hear more from Lysa:
(Email subscribers click here to watch)

Join the 21 Day Challenge here.

He Makes All Things New

2012-01-04T08:30:00.001-05:00

Dear Changing Seasons Friends,

This is an exciting week all around! A new year...2012! I don't know about you, but as much as I hate change, I do appreciate a fresh start. Thank you for a new year with new possibilities! I know this can sound cliche, but having a child with special needs puts it in perspective for me. Each new year is the year I hope and pray John will do ______ (fill in the blank: crawl, walk, talk, feed himself, etc).

Also, I started a blog this week. It has been a dream of mine for quite some time, and I am thrilled it is up and running as of yesterday. I would love for you to check it out and sign up for email updates if you feel so inclined: www.HeMakesAllThingsNew.com We are so grateful to have this space where we can share what we are learning through both the riches in life and also the great loss we all face and additionally share glimpses of our life and continued prayer requests for John's full healing.

This is a big step for our family, after chronicling our journey and prayer requests for our son John on a Caringbridge site for almost 3 years now. It is healing to move to a new venue and to simply acknowledge to myself through this transition that we are no longer in daily medical crisis. When you have experienced chronic crisis of any sort, it is easy to feel stuck in that mode long after the initial trial has past. I encourage you to do something or plan something or start a new hobby/project/mantra/etc that you can use to remind yourself that you, too, are in a new season this year.

Happy 2012 to you!!

Contentment

2012-01-03T13:33:00.004-05:00

By Trish Ryan

I've been thinking about contentment today. There's nothing like diving back into my normal routine after a long break to reveal the areas in life where things are humming along smoothly...and the places where I feel like I've got a square peg I must cram into a round hole.

Life is like that, I've discovered. (I know...you knew this already. I'm not so much pronouncing a grand discovery as admitting, "Hey, look - I finally caught on!") There's this tension between the things that are "just as they should be" and those that are missing, damaged, or flat-out unworkable. But the tension isn't constant...it moves.

Today I discovered that one of the areas in which I've long felt despair (household chores & errands) is actually something I feel great about now. No idea why. Nothing has changed - same dust, same laundry, same dirty dishes. But for whatever reason, this area of life is bringing me contentment. I'll take it.

And yet at the same time there are all these question marks floating in the air around me: things that fall into the "All I can do is wait & see" category. When you see those flying question marks, don't you just want to swat them down out of the air like flies? Or (if you're of a gentler nature) capture them in a jar so you can watch them closely and see what happens next? Sigh. All I can do is let them buzz and wonder: when will they land? What will they tell me? In these areas, contentment is hard to come by. I have to go after it and decide to trust, believe, have faith, not freak out or give up or (worst of all) try to make something happen. I have years of proof that God does have a plan and works things out rather splendidly, albeit rarely on my timetable. Going after contentment is my best bet to stay busy, happy, productive...and out of God's way.

I've been studying these definitions of character qualities. "Contentment" is defined as: "Realizing that God has provided everything that I need for my present happiness." I like this. It gives permission to be happy with what today offers, while at the same time hoping that in some ways, at least, things won't be like this much longer.

I have laundry to fold, so I'll leave it at that. Think of where you're feeling contentment today. Focus on that. Let it expand in your mind and fill you with the sense of God's grace in that area. Eventually, we'll catch on and see: He's got more where this came from :)

Favorite Books from 2011

2012-01-02T08:55:00.000-05:00

By Elizabeth Robertson Williams

Happy New Year! Before we completely look forward, let's pop backward for just a bit. I was blog hopping last week and came across Nester's post, Books I read in 2011. Which gave me the wonderful idea of jotting down my favorite books from 2011. I'm not what you would call an avid reader like my fried Trish, but here goes nothing!

Heart Strengthening:

Bittersweet, Shauna Niequist
Soul nourishing. Thanks to my friend Megan for the recommendation and gift!

One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp
Life changing.

The Power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartin
The best marriage counseling $10 can buy!

Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted, Priscilla Shirer
A refreshing reminder that God gives us 2nd chances.

Heart Warming:

Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, Rhee Drummond
A classic love story.

The Undomestic Goddess, Sophie Kinsella
Frivolous & Fabulous!

Mini Shopaholic, Sophie Kinsella
Some girls have Twilight & Harry Potter, I have my beloved Shopaholic Series starring Becky Bloomwood.

Books I Plan to Finish/Read in 2012:

The Paris Wife
I've read the first 20 pages at least 5 times, but am determined to stick with it!

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy Kaling
After the millionth rave review on the Changing Seasons blog, I just know I need to give it a go!

As you can see, I have a lot more room in my 2012 lineup. Have a favorite book from 2011? Leave it in the comments below!

Going Out In Style: No Change

2011-12-30T09:30:00.000-05:00

By Dee Oliver

Change—don't do it!

By nature humans really don'tlike change. We like things to stay the same.

We like old slippers, old chairs,old books, old friends...

Change means only one thingto most people...we are going to have to learn something new!!!

In the funeral business wehave an unwritten rule we try to advise the families with: NoChange for the first year after you lose a loved one.

Webster dictionary defineschange as: the act or an instance of making or becoming different.

When someone close to you dies,GOD activates within you what I would call a protective, emotional shock–absorbersystem. Kind of like GOD’S own bubblewrap. It. Is. Great!

The purpose of it is to protect and shield you from the immediateimpact of the world. It allows youto begin the difficult and very slow process of working through your grief.

You really can’t speedthrough this time period…..….if you try you will only end up backtrackingthrough it and believe me, once is enough!

This bubble-wrap buffer lastonly about a year. You need to use this to your upmost advantage.

Now some of your well meaningfamily and friends might advise you to make changes:

Move to a smaller/bigger/new town/new state/warmer climate/cooler climate

Change your hair color/cut

How abouta touch-up? Eyes? Nose?

MaybeDating! Really, Dating? (That is a real NO NO).

Give away or remove their clothes and favorite things…..

Don’t do it. You will at laterdate regret these decision. Being surrounded by familiar, comforting things isgood and reassuring, they makeyou feel safe when you feel as if your whole world has been shaken to its verycore. Plus, if there are children still living in your home, change will only maketheir world seem even more unstable.

There are so many things toadjust to after someone dies that redecorating or relocating is not in yourbest interest for you mental health or your emotional state. It takes time alot of time to understand and readjust to your new pattern of life.

At this point, change willonly ramp up your anxiety and emotional level leaving you feeling more confusedand unsure about yourself and the future.

I know this sounds so simple butfor some reason as soon as someone dies everyone thinks they need to dosomething, anything. I am not sure exactly what drives thisdesire...maybe just fear of the change that has taken place, or trying to gain some control over a situationthat feels out of control.

So unless there is afinancial reason for making changes, sit tight and let God and time helpyou sort out your life and help you begin to heal.

Now do you think I listen toour own advice? Not a chance!

I thought this rule did notapply to me. I was different, a professional….

Well I didn't sell our home andI didn't give away or move any of Johnnie's things, I left his clothes hanging inthe closet for a year and even now, his dresser still contains all the rest ofhis personal stuff.

I did rearrange the livingroom furniture but I don't think that counts. As a matter of fact, I am surethat it doesn't and his sunglasses are still sitting on the bookshelf where heleft them 4 years ago. But to be perfectly honest I just don't read those booksso I never move anything on that bookcase.

But I did buy a dog! Yes adog! A big expensive dog!

What is that country western song?"What was I thinking?"

You see we had this greatfamily dog, a standard black poodle named Spot. Wonderful dog, you know thekind—well trained, perfect in all regard, some of my best work.

Well, Spot got sick and had tobe put to sleep about a month or so before Johnnie died.

A month later, it is the startof summer, school is out. I have this great idea to help move along the everpresences of the thick blanket of grief and sadness in our lives a bit fasterby buying a puppy!

Puppies are wonderful, happy, loving, sweet, adorablecreatures! Ha! "What was I thinking?"

So I headed out with mycousin to Fredericksburg to a breeder who told me when I got there the only dogshe had left was an four month old, non-socialized, black standard poodle who’sparents weighed about 95 pounds each.

At this point I should haveturned around and headed home but since I was clearly thinking with my emotionsand not my head I purchased Henry. Besides, I was a professional, surely Icould save us (word to the wise that’s God's job!!!!!)

Henry threw up all the way home, but the girls were ecstaticand happy and I was so pleased and proud with myself.

What’s that Biblical saying?Pride goes before Dee’s fall.

As soon as the news of thenew puppy reached our office those wise and quick to chastise me funeraldirectors asked if I had lost my mind and quickly reminded me that I had just brokenthe cardinal NO CHANGE FOR ONE YEAR RULE.

I smugly replied that puppiesdon’t count as change!

Four chewed up kitchenchairs, one eaten wall and a shredded, newly reupholstersofa later, Henry was quickly relocated to Norfolk and adopted bywonderful family. It was at that point I knew that needed to start a fund fortherapy and learn to follow our own professional advice!

So remember, NO CHANGE!!............ It can allwait a year….. Or even two ………….

So say your prayers, say Ilove you, trust in God, and try to Go Out in Style,

Dee Oliver

A List About Making Lists

2011-12-29T13:28:00.001-05:00

Image from WSJ

By Lisa Robertson

This time of year, my lists overwhelm me.

I have at least 6-10 active lists. Several lists for a February wedding, a list for Christmas
cards, a lift for the gifts we gave, a list from the children on what they hoped to receive,
another list to help me remember things I fear I might forget, a simple grocery
list, a to-do list, thank you note lists, a list for new year’s resolutions, and one for the blessings and answers to prayers I saw in 2011. There are so many lists and so little time.

Yesterday, I read an article by Sue Shellenbarger from the Wall Street Journal about the art
of making an effective TO-DO List. Here are the highlights:

1. Limit list to concrete tasks—this list has what needs to be done, it has boundaries, a
beginning and an end.

2. Assign a priority to each task—ask yourself, “Is this urgent for my life today?” How
urgent? How helpful to others or myself? How important to the success of this day?

3. Plan a time and schedule for each task. This insight is new for me, and I have been doing
it without knowing that it would be on the WSJ to do list. Each morning, I will block off my day with known commitments-meetings, lunches, walks, phone calls, desk work. I will assign the urgent commitments to an hour in the day. This helps be me more realistic about what I can accomplish and they time I will need to get it done. If I pray, “Give me this day my daily bread…”, it helps me to focus on this day and its needs.

4.Group tasks by where they will be performed—house, office, errands, etc.

5.LIST ONLY AS MANY ITEMS AS CAN BE REALISTICALLY ACCOMPLISHED. In other
words, don’t set yourself up to fail. Three days of “stuff” will not fit into three hours of
time.

6.Cross off or delete completed tasks—this is the best part.

7.Start a new list……..

Lists can be hand written-a new notebook and pen might motivate you,done on a computer or entered in a phone or I-Pad app. For the first week of the new year, try making your lists.

One of the most important lists that I make at the end of the year is a reflection on God’s presence, answers to prayers, special Scriptures or insights. I combine this with another list which contains the deepest prayers of my heart. Some requests are specific-prayers for healing, wisdom, a plan for a graduating child, direction for me in the decisions that I will make.. Other requests are more general, the presidential election, Israel, our church and its leadership, Changing Seasons and Faithful Beginnings.

God has a plan for me for today and for next year. My goal is to ask Him for help so that I
can get to the best places that He has planned for me.

Jeremiah 29:11 sums this up—"I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring
you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you,
not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."

Proverbs 16:9—We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.

Proverbs 21:5—Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts
you further behind.

Prov. 24:21—It's better to be wise than strong; intelligence outranks muscle any day.

Think about your lists, make a list or two and see how they might help you to be better
organized in 2012.

And the list goes on & on!

Covering a Multitude of Sins

2011-12-28T08:30:00.003-05:00

What did you get for Christmas?

This year I received three scarves: a gold, shimmery Banana Republic scarf from my husband, a multicolored pashmina style Gap scarf from my dad, and a chic Burberry scarf from my mom.

Here I am with my goddaughter Annie, her other godmother Maria holding her, and her proud mommy Allison.

I simply LOVE scarves in this season. I don’t just mean the wintry season but also my life stage. My life stage is spelled with three letters: M-O-M. Scarves can cover a multitude of sins. Spit up from a baby. Stains from breast milk. A shirt that was just another black shirt yesterday (because it can thankfully still pass for today because the laundry has not yet been switched from the washer to the dryer). And very importantly, scarves can cover the “pooch” that is often left from babies, especially the pooch from a twin pregnancy like my first pregnancy.

Where am I going with this, you might ask? I am not completely sure myself. However, I am grateful for things such as scarves that can express personality, add style, change a look, and make you feel good about your figure even when it has been altered by life. I know we’ve all been altered by life in one way or another. Thank the Lord for the scarves in our lives, literal and figurative. Not that we need to hide, but sometimes we do need a little help!

I usually avoid the malls post-Christmas, but if I happen to venture into the stores this week, I may just have to grab another scarf (on sale)! Go for it and express yourself while celebrating how you have been altered by life.

Ready for Adventure

2011-12-27T11:06:00.003-05:00

By Trish Ryan

Confession: I’d planned a post on how getting through Christmas always leaves me feeling like I’ve completed a marathon–exhausted, triumphant, glad I don’t have to do THAT again for awhile. But then I saw this post by the amazing Tayari Jones (who spent Christmas in Aruba flirting with flamingos) and I realized a pivot was in order. So for today, a question: Are you prepared for the possibility of adventure?

Is your passport up to date? Is your life sufficiently organized that you’d know what to grab & who to call if you had to jet off on twenty-four hours notice? And the big one: Have you cultivated a mindset that says YES to opportunities?

As I consider my life so far (something required for memoir-writing), perhaps my favorite thing about my life is that I’ve had such an abundance of amazing, unlikely experiences. Of course, some of these adventures have ended in mind-blowing crashes…but even those have given me good information about God and life that I’m grateful for. In other words: life is really fun when you’re able to say yes to chances that come your way. And while the word “adventure” usually brings up thoughts of travel to distant lands, trust me: if God is behind it, you can have a huge, life-changing adventure right in your own town. Your job is to be ready to say yes when the chances come along.

A couple of tips for making smart adventure choices: 1. This does not apply to marriage...entering or leaving!!! Chick-lit films notwithstanding, there is nothing romantic or adventurous about legally attaching yourself to a guy you barely know...or spontaneously abandoning your husband in search of greener pastures. Okay, with that said... 2. Practice saying “yes” to small things first. Have a month where you say yes to everything you’re invited to be part of that does not require criminal behavior (or, again, marriage).3. Pray. Ask God to expand your horizons:

Dear God, I want to live the life of adventure You’ve created for me (and created me for). Open my mind and heart to respond as You want me to to the opportunities that come along. Thank you that You’ve been preparing me. Make me immediately obedient to the prompting of Your Holy Spirit so I’m ready in every way, for everything. And I thank You that You protect me from the lies and temptations of the Evil one that try to lure me off Your path. I’m excited for this life, and these possibilities! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

There are a couple of places in the Bible where we’re told not to brag about what we’ll be doing tomorrow, because really, only God knows. I’ve always taken this as a warning, but I wonder now if there might also be a more positive aspect to this: If we’re careful what we promise to do in the future, that gives us freedom to follow God’s promptings. For me, that’s an exciting perspective to pray about as we go into the coming New Year.

The Christmas Story

2011-12-22T07:26:00.000-05:00

Most of us have heard the Christmas story year after year, but sometimes hearing it told through the eyes of a child can be a refreshing reminder of Jesus' miraculous birth.

We hope you enjoy this video as much as we do!
(Email subscribers click here)

Mantras and Mistletoe

2011-12-21T08:30:00.002-05:00

It is my prayer that the Lord will use what He is teaching me in this hectic holiday season to also serve as an encouragement to you.

Here is my advice that I am attempting to flesh out even as I type: Get a MANTRA!

Stick with me; I know this sounds cheesy. Or on the other hand, it could sound like I am telling you to put on your big girl panties while you pull yourself up by those proverbial boot straps and Bible verse your way through stress, difficult family dynamics, endless to do lists, unfulfilled hopes, or whatever else you face this Christmas.

This is NOT what I am recommending. We need the Lord and we certainly cannot navigate this holiday season without His grace and provision. After all, He is strongest when we are at our weakest (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Thankfully, the Lord provides us with tools to make the burdens we face lighter. The tool I currently am employing is a mantra. I wanted something short that I could easily recall and quickly say to myself and whisper to Jesus. I wanted something that calmed my anxious heart while reminding me of the purpose and renewal Jesus has for my life and for my family.

Here is the mantra I chose:
“Be still; Restore.”

I chose this mantra, because I am prone to stress and carrying heavy burdens, especially those associated with the pain of the past, the unknowns of the future, feeling spread too thin, and longing for my son John’s full healing on earth.

The first part, “Be still,” stops me in my tracks. I see this as my part. I have to slow down, stop, and give myself permission to simply be still. The second part, “Restore,” is God’s. He is the only One who can restore and make things new. I love how rest is part of the word restore. Only He brings true rest. Also the word, restore, reminds me that God has a plan for my life… that He hasn’t forgotten my past and that He is working to restore hope, joy, and abundant life to me in my present and future.

I will continue to pray for you as you create your own mantra or decide to adopt this one. Mostly, I pray Christ will give you peace, joy, and hope as He reminds you of His unfailing presence throughout this sacred time of year. With these mantras under our belts, it is my hope and belief that the Holy Spirit will enable us to switch our Christmas focus from chaos to anticipation… anticipation of what Christ did 2,000 years ago when he was born AND anticipation of what Christ is doing today in each of our lives.

“ ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’ 

The LORD Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress."

Psalm 46: 10a, 11

Give yourself the gift of giggle

2011-12-20T11:10:00.005-05:00

By Trish Ryan

I'm not crafty and I don't bake, so I typically spend the holiday season hiding out behind the heavy furniture and hoping no one will notice me as I wait for January. I love giving presents, so I remind myself that in the days of Little House on the Prairie, it was the store-bought gifts that were the most extra special!

In that spirit, I suggest that you go to a store today and buy yourself a gift that will keep you giggling through the rest of 2011: Mindy Kaling's book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? The hilarity of her childhood pictures alone more than justify the investment.

You can come by in 2012 and thank me for this tip. Until then, I'll be behind the couch :)

Last Minute Christmas Party Ideas

2011-12-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

By Elizabeth Robertson Williams

I know we've got just one week until Christmas and things can tend to get crazy, but who says you can't squeeze in one or two more soirees? Looking for some last-minute ideas? Here are two fabulous ideas that I just had to share:

1. A Favorite Things Party!

Inspired by Nester's post here, my friend Catherine came up with the idea to pull together a Favorite Things Party. There were 8 of us total and each one of us picked out our favorite thing under $5 and brought one for each of us! The result? We all went home with candles, votives, moleskin notebooks, fancy hair things, a cactus, and several frozen yogurt gift cards! (Great minds think alike!) Think Oprah, but even better!!

Although we centered ours around Christmas, you can have a favorite things party any day of the year. In our case, we've decided to make it a quarterly event, because it's just too fun to only do once a year!

Our hostess with the mostest, Catherine, added cranberries to our wine glasses for a festive touch!

Cactus plants lined up to go home.

Mae Mae, Catherine & Molly with a few favorites.


More favorite things with Sallie!

Thanks to Molly's iPhone for the pics!!

2. Wreath Making Party!

After I caught a slight craft bug thanks to Carrie Yuill, I shared my newest wreath making hobby with my friend Abby who had recently stumbled upon another fabulous wreath idea. I've quickly learned that crafts are just another excuse for a party, so a few of us got together to make these fabulous ribbon wreaths.

Virginia showing off her fabulous wreath!


Our hostess Abby with her finished product!

If I can do it, anyone can! It's super easy, fun, and relaxing. We each had wreath frames and lots of red, green, gold, and plaid ribbon wire ribbon. We cut about 6" pieces and tied them in knots until it was full all the way around. You can really use any ribbon, but the wire was good, because we could scrunch it up at the end to make it a bit more full.

We also did a ribbon wreath encore at our Bible study using wire hangers for the wreath frame (just undo it and shape it into a circle) and lots and lots of sparkle ribbon. I had so much fun, I forgot to take pictures!

Click here for a full tutorial.

Lots of places are putting their ribbon on sale right now and if you're head to Michaels, you can always print off a coupon for 20-50% off something on your computer, so you might want do a little google search before you head out.

Hope you enjoy these ideas as much as I have! Both are fun, easy ideas to throw together with your daughters, sisters, Bible study, book club, neighbors, or old high school friends home for Christmas.

Merry, Merry!!!!

Going Out In Style……

2011-12-16T16:30:00.000-05:00

By Dee Oliver

Marriage is the union of twopeople becoming one. I know I mention in my last post how much I enjoyedbeing married. Johnnie was the love of my life and my best friend. It seemed asif we told each other everything.

Everything except…………………

What is the name of the manwho cuts the grass?
The garage that repairs thecar?
If the house needs paintingwho do I call?
What about the leak in the roof?
How about the rottenwindow he never got around to having replaced? Just open the phone book and tryand figure that one out!
Furnaces/ air conditioners; Inever took that course in college.
Where does she take myclothes to be dried cleaned?
How does the washer/dryerwork? Vacuum? Dishwasher?
Do we have a housekeeper? Whatis her name? What day does she come? How much does she get paid?
If I need one now who do Icall?
What is the name of ourchildren’s doctor?
How often do they go to thedentist? Who is the dentist?
We have a dog! A sick dog, nowwhere does he go?
Shoot! How do you start alawn mower and I thought the mulch for the yard just automatically came twice ayear.
There is a snake in the kitchen!!! Really therewas!! The kids left the back door open all day. I screamed, the snake stared atme more frightened than me as I dialed 911 and ran out the front door looking for a man!!Thank the good Lord above, a lawn service was cutting my neighbors’ yard acrossthe street.

I refer to these as pinkjobs, blue jobs.

It didn’t take long afterJohnnie’s death for me to realized that husbands and wives never divulge theinformation about their jobs to each other.

I thought I knew a lot aboutour lives together but ……... I really didn’t.

I went into a bit of a panic mode when the furnace needed tobe replaced. I had no idea who to call or what I should be paying for somethinglike that. I am proud to say that I did it but not with out a lot of sleeplessnights and hand wringing, something that could have been avoided if I had beena bit more pro-active when Johnnie started taking about needing to have thatdone. You see he was in the thought /looking process of this monumental projectwhen he died. But when he was researching the options I wasn’t the least bitinterested and quickly assess that it was a blue job and went about my pink jobs.

I have always wondered whywidowers remarry so fast contrary to widows.

It is the pink jobs! Pinkjobs show up first thing in the morning!

Really most men don’t even know how the coffee maker works.So ladies if you don’t want some woman moving into your home theweek after you have departed to the heavenly realms. Teach him some pink jobsand be sure to learn some blue ones!!

Oh by the way, 911 doesn’t dosnakes! You have to call an exterminator….(another blue job!)

Say your prayers, say I loveyou, trust in God and try to go out in style!!

Dee

Mary, Mary

2011-12-16T07:10:00.005-05:00

By Lisa Robertson

Each year, our dining room table is decorated with abeautiful wooden nativity scene. Lovingly, and with some pride, we place the figures down the center ofthe table. Shepherds, camels,sheep and even a duck accompany the kings, donkey and the holy family. As the years pass, we have addedpalm trees, straw and candles.

A few years ago, after along day, we were getting ready sit down for Christmas dinner. I was exhausted, but satisfied that we had finished a memorablecelebration. Water was in theglasses, the candles were lit and dinner was ready. What a relief!

As I was bringing food forthe table, shrieks came from the dining room. “The table is on fire”- and itwas. Because I didn’t want to ruinthe lovely decorated table, I tried to put the fire out by smothering it with anapkin, only to fan the flames. Finally, my young son picked up a glass of ice water and threw in on thefire, the nativity set, and the food.

We did eat that Christmasnight, but the food was cold, the tablecloth off and a the table wasreset. My lasting memory of thatnight is that Mary was singed by the fire and still smells a little like smoke.

Mary is a role model for me and here is why-

This was an ordinaryday. Mary had chores to do, mealsto prepare and a life to live. When the sun rose that morning, she had no indication that this was aday that would change her life, a day that would change all of history.

God had an extraordinary dayplanned for Mary and He sent the angel Gabriel to tell her. “Don’t be afraid, Mary” is the openinggreeting. Throughout the Bible,whenever an angel meets with people, the opening greeting is always “Do not beafraid”. He continues “for God has decided to bless you.”

“Wow! God has decided to bless me?” may have been Mary’s first thought. If an angel came to you with a messagelike that, what would you expect? Health, happiness, wealth, perfect children? Mary might have imagined some of those same blessings.

But God had a magnificentplan. “You will become pregnantand have a son, and you are to name him Jesus. He will be great and called the Son of the Most High…and Hiskingdom will never end.” In herwildest dreams, I don’t think that was the blessing that Mary wasexpecting.

As a mother of four daughters, I'm not certain that this is a blessing that my girls would want.

God chose Mary for many reasons. Shock, confusion and maybe fear may have been her initialresponse, but Mary was quick to embrace God’s plan for her. “ I am the Lord’s servant mayeverything you have said to me come true.” Mary saw herself first as the Lord’s servant, willing to dowhat He asked of her. She was notmore concerned about what her parents might think or even her friends. Mary’s confidence was in her knowledgeof God and His perfect love for her.

Like Mary, God has awonderful plan for each one of us. His plan can be slowly revealed to us as we follow Him, or it can jumpinto our lives in an instant. God’s plan for Mary was shocking, inconvenient and beyond all that shecould ask or imagine. His plan foryou could evoke some of these same emotions.

God planted His plan inMary’s life. Over time, itdeveloped and matured. During thefollowing months she probably got used to it. The angel’s parting words to her were, “For nothing isimpossible with God.” Luke 1:37.

When I hold my scarred Mary,those same words are written, by me, underneath her base. Mary was willing, trusting andadventurous in her walk with God. She wanted all that He had for her and risked her reputation and futurebecause she trusted God. I want tobe more like Mary.

Who Does He Look Like?

2011-12-14T15:03:00.000-05:00

“Who does he look like?”

I am often asked this question as people study John or Daniel’s features – their smiles, noses, hair lines, and even their ears and toes. And as a child, I am sure you also remember people remarking, “Oh you look just like your mother!” Or, “You have your Daddy’s build!”

I was thrilled when people saw my parents in me; I admired them and wanted to be like them. In the same way, Meade and I (along with the doting grandparents) beam with pride as someone tells us they see a bit of us in our boys. It is sheer delight!

As I was contemplating this the other day, it hit me that we all, as human beings, are created in an image far greater than our earthly parents. We are created in God’s very image; He chose us as the vessels to display His likeness.

No one can deny that a new baby is an utter miracle. How much more miraculous is it that that very baby is created in God’s image and is intended to reflect the Creator.

Consider how much it delights the Lord when he looks at us as we are living out His purposes, becoming more like Him and embodying His love, and He witnesses His very image glancing back. I pray today that we will all seek to live in light of who we are – beloved children of God created in His image to display His likeness.

The Meaning in Me

2011-12-13T10:31:00.004-05:00

I wrote this post for my blog, A Maze of Grace, where we're spending the rest of 2011 praying for God to bring awesome husbands for His single daughters. As I thought about what I wanted to write about here at Changing Seasons, I realized that this is idea is still stirring around in me. I think we all bump into it--repeatedly--in different seasons. So I thought I'd repost, along with a few additions. Enjoy!

As I was on the treadmill last night the song The Meaning In Me came up on shuffle. Listen to it now if you can. The lyrics got me thinking about how easy it is to lose track of who we are and end up backed into corners that don’t feel like us at all.

I’ve had several different seasons of my life when I’d be in the middle of some situation or conversation that just felt horrible–almost otherworldly–and I’d look around and wonder, How did I get here? In most cases, as I traced things back I found ways I’d betrayed myself, zigging when I’d wanted to zag, but not wanting to rock the boat or disappoint anyone. Then I’d have to find the “reset” button and get back–or forward–to where I was supposed to be. But I can never get there alone. "Working on myself" (the traditional recommendation we women give one another whenever life goes astray) is a disaster...unless I let God oversee the remodeling.

Most work we do on ourselves only pushes us further back. But when we let God work on us, He sets us free.

Here's a prayer to let God in on the construction project:

Dear God, I’m not where I want to be. I’m not who I want to be. But I don’t know the answers to either of the questions that come next. So I give my life to you, Jesus–please sort me out. I trust that you know me, and that I was created with a purpose. Help me get there. Thank you that You won’t let me miss it. I renounce the idea that I have to have it all together to be loved, or to be happy and fulfilled with my life. Forgive me for ways I’ve cooperated with that lie. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and teach me how to walk away from lies and into Your truth. Thank you that You created me to be an awesome, loving, wise, beloved woman. Let’s start now! In your name, Jesus. Amen.

Here's to your next season :)

Jingle Bells

2011-12-12T23:28:00.005-05:00

My favorite Christmas CD since 1994

By Elizabeth Robertson Williams

Despite my mom's fierce campaigning "Merry Christmas" continues to morph into "Happy Holidays", but for whatever reason, most people are still very welcoming of most traditional Christmas carols.

Have you been listening to your "light fm" radio station, or even in restaurants and stores? It's amazing the power and praise that is found within so many of the Christmas carols people have been enjoying for years. You have Mariah Carey, Carrie Underwood, and even Riahnna all of a sudden all willing to sing about the birth of Christ.

I love worship music, but I must confess, when it comes to Christmas songs (I'm talking the real ones...O Holy Night, Joy to the World, Angels We Have Heard On High, etc.) I'm not always quick to embrace and reflect on the true meaning.

My goal this year as I'm shopping, driving, Christmas partying, decorating, and wrapping, is to actually pause and listen to Christmas songs this year. There is so much Truth in these songs we've been hearing for years. I pray it falls fresh on our ears this year!

"This, This is Christ the King

Whom shepherds guard and angels sing

Haste, haste to bring him praise

The Babe, the Son of Mary"

"Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

Let earth receive her king;

Let every heart prepare Him room"

"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices...
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born."

Below are just a few of my favorites...and if you're interested in a great worship CD for Christmas here are two I love:
Christmas Worship Down Under, Hillsong
Glory in the Highest: Christmas Songs of Worship, Chris Tomlin

Going Out In Style

2011-12-09T07:48:00.001-05:00

By Dee Oliver

Marriage is probably one of the bestthings that ever happened to me; besides having children and getting Botox.

The downside to marriage is that itjust doesn’t last, I know there is the whole "happily ever after"theory, but the reality of that is just improbable.

I am not referring to divorce I amreferring to death.

Marriage starts at the same place andtime but it doesn’t end that way. Very rarely do two people exit out ofthe world at the same moment.

I am well experienced in theseparation of two people destined for forever….I was married to a funeraldirector for 25 years and I have a mortuary degree myself.

And now, well, I am the left over partof “happily ever after.”

As professionals in the business wesort of pride ourselves on being prepared for the unexpected, but very commonoccurrence of death--we know the pitfalls of what happenswhen people don’t think about or plan for their own death.

Understandably,no one really thinks they are going to die--it's like the unexpectedpregnancy--it happens to everyone else besides you. It happened to me…the wonderfulsurprise third child. After that, I knew death was certain!!

So I planned and planned and nagged my sweet, always dresses in a blacksuit, handsome husband about his death. His answer was always, "I have ittaken care of and since I am still standing may I please deal with the funeralsof the day."

Well the good news was we did have alot of it taken care of, but there were some surprises in store for me after hepassed away.

My purpose here is to help you Go Outin Style…

So let’s start with something simple: keys! Yes, I saidkeys.

I remember just after Johnniehad died my sweet, handsome (aren’t they all?) UPS man stopped by ourhouse to deliver a package and convey his sympathy to me and my girls. He told me how sad he andhis wife were for us and asked if there was anything they could do for my family?I smiled, gave

him a hug and with tears in my eyes I said, "Please go homeand tell your wife what the keys on your key ring go to. Because Ihaven’t the faintest idea what all the keys in my husband's top drawerand on his key ring belong to, but I do know that somewhere there is someone who islocked out of something and I now own the missing key!!"

So………..

Sayyour prayers, say I love you, trust in God and alwaystry to "Go out in style!"

-Dee

Yum-O Pumpkin-Gingersnap Cheesecake

2011-12-07T18:00:00.001-05:00

Image via RachelRayMag.com

By Mary Elizabeth Stone

There is something about this festive time of year thatmakes me want to try new things in the kitchen! It may be because I am still at the age and stage where I amnot hosting Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. Yet the desire to prepare and consume delicious treatsremains! I still have that littlegirl within me that eagerly anticipated making gingerbread men with my mom orhelping her prepare her famous cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning.

So, the other day as I was flipping through my Every Day with Rachel Ray magazine, I got it in my head that I wanted to attempt to makemy very first cheesecake. I mean,she had me at pumpkin! I loveanything pumpkin for the holidays. I gathered my ingredients, donned my apron, and got to work! You do need to make this a day inadvance so it has time to chill in the fridge. But otherwise, this is a very easy recipe and I am no longerscared of the cheesecake prospect or of my springform pan that had never seenthe light of day before this recent adventure.

Enjoy! Happyholiday cooking to you!

Recipe Courtesy of Every Day With Rachel Ray

10SERVINGS

PREP 25 MIN (PLUS CHILLING)

BAKE3 3/4 HRS

INGREDIENTS:

1 3/4cups gingersnap crumbs

1 cupsugar

6 tbsp.unsalted butter, melted

3 pkgs.(8 oz. each) cream cheese at room temperature

3 eggs,at room temperature

1 cupcanned pure pumpkin puree

1/2 cupsour cream

2 tsp.pure vanilla extract

1 1/2tsp. pumpkin pie spice

1 1/2tbsp. flour

DIRECTIONS:

1. Position a rack in the centerof the oven and preheat to 350°. Grease an 8-inch springform pan. In a mediumbowl, stir together the gingersnap crumbs, 1/4 cup sugar and the butter. Pressthe mixture over the bottom and about 1 inch up the sides of the prepared pan.Bake the crust until set, about 10 minutes. Transfer to a rack to coolcompletely. Increase the oven temperature to 425°.

2. Meanwhile, using an electric mixer, beat the creamcheese and remaining 3/4 cup sugar on medium-high speed until light and fluffy,about 2 minutes. Scrape down the bowl. Beat in the eggs 1 at a time, beatingwell after each addition. Add the pumpkin puree, sour cream, vanilla andpumpkin pie spice; beat until combined. Sprinkle the flour over the mixture andbeat on low speed until just combined.

3. Place the springform pan on a baking sheet and pour thefilling into the shell. Bake for 15 minutes. Lower the oven temperature to 250°and bake for 1 hour longer. Turn off the oven and let the cheesecake cool inthe oven with the door ajar for 2 1/2 hours. Transfer to a rack and let cool toroom temperature. Refrigerate uncovered until thoroughly chilled, at least 10hours or up to 2 days.

4. Remove the side of the pan and let sit at roomtemperature for an hour. To serve, cut the cheesecake into wedges with a sharpknife that’s been dipped in hot water and wiped clean after each cut. Serve thecheesecake slightly chilled or at room temperature.

Click here for more Christmas recipes from Rachel Ray.

Dear Me: A Letter to My 16 Year Old Self

2011-12-06T09:34:00.002-05:00

By Trish Ryan

Have you guys seen this? It’s a book called Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen Year Old Self, where well-known people were asked to write letters to themselves back at that awkward, complicated age, offering words of comfort, advice, warning & encouragement.

I spent about twenty minutes yesterday considering what I’d tell my 16 year old self. It was obvious that the most important topic I’d need help in back then would be love and boys. This is what I came up with:

Dear Me:

The way a boy treats his mother is how he will treat you. Watch, listen, and believe what you see. Don’t cover it over with excuses. If a guy hates his mother, or ignores her when she calls, or says disparaging things about her…you’re watching your future unfold. Get up, get your coat, walk away. Most importantly: Don’t turn back. There are LOTS of great guys out there (ignore magazine articles to the contrary) who think their moms are pretty great. Date those boys.

Neither algebra nor chemistry will matter in your future, so don’t worry. Oh, and hurry up and get those contact lenses. Running toward the vault in gymnastics will go SO much better once you do.

Relax, enjoy. Live.

Love, Me

What would you say to YOUR 16 year old self?

Christmas Gift Guide

2011-12-05T08:48:00.001-05:00

by Elizabeth Robertson Williams

So we know that Christmas is NOT all about presents. But let's face it, this month, most of us will purchase a gift, or two, or fifty. So in an attempt to make things a little easier for you, here are some of my most favorite gift ideas:

Scout Coolers
I've always loved Scout bags, but have just recently fallen in love with their coolers. Isn't this cute? My team might not always win football games, but at least we can tailgate in style! This cooler is a great size for a day trip, or for carrying a few bottles of wine. They also have a camo version for the men in your lives!

Lollia Hand Lotion

Lollia hand lotion is one of my all time favorite treats. Each scent is a refreshing luxury and the lotion is just perfect for dry wintery hands. With mini bottles starting at $7.50 they make great stocking stuffers or hostess gifts. They've also just released a new candle line and shower gels that are divine!

Hen House Linens

I recently discovered Hen House Linens that specializes in creating beautiful, practical linens for every day living. How cute and fun are these pot holders? With all kinds of great patterns, it's fun to mix and match. I'm also obsessed with their hostess aprons.

Books

If you're looking to give a book, my two favorites from 2011 have been Jesus Calling and One Thousand Gifts. They're both encouraging and insightful!

And you can never go wrong with the Pioneer Woman Cooks. Her cookbook is fun, visually appealing, and absolutely delicious! Check out her recipe for cinnamon rolls here.

Bonobos

As for the men in your life? Well, in my opinion, they're not nearly as much fun to shop for! One thing my husband can count on every year is a pair of Bonobos pants. We LOVE them. AND right now, I think they're having some bargains: if you're a new customer, use the code FIRST50 to get $50 off a $100 purchase, or NYPBONOBOS for 25% off your order.

Happy shopping!

My Season Jodie Berndt

2011-10-25T07:52:00.000-04:00

We conclude our "Season Series" with a woman who is no stranger to many of us, Jodie Berndt. Not only is Jodie a fabulous wife to one and mother to four, but she's also the author of several books, including Praying the Scriptures for Your Children and Praying the Scriptures for Your Teenagers. AND, she taught the Changing Seasons Friendship Study this past summer. You can watch her in action here. So without further ado, here's Jodie...

Name: Jodie Berndt
Age: 48
City: Virginia Beach, VA
Current Season: Tired Mom

1. What is one thing things you can't live without?

You know how if you go on the show Survivor they only let you take one personal item? I am not sure I could choose between my Bible (although these days it doesn't work as well without reading glasses, which would mean I would have to take two personal items), or my lip gloss (Cover Girl "Wetslicks #340", which was featured five years ago in Shape magazine, and which I now stock up on in the same way that I have started hoarding non-environmentally friendly lightbulbs.)

2. The current book(s) by your bedside table are...

A decorating nightmare, as the stack is nearly as tall as the lamp. The one on top is about India, but I can't remember the title.

3. Your number one song played on iTunes is...

I don't do iTunes.

4. Fill in the blanks: If I didn't have __________, I would be _____________.

If I didn't have my husband; I would be an emotionally unbalanced, indecisive, stressed-out, anxious parent. (Actually, I am that. But he covers for me.)

5. What do you like best about your current season?

My husband, who--in addition to being the steadying influence in my life--is handsome, athletic, and fun.

6. What is one difficulty or burden you've experienced/are facing in your current season?

I am always busy with school functions, church activities, home projects and volunteer commitments, and I worry that I don't have enough fun with my kids. Not that they'd want to hang out with me, anyway. But if they did.

7. Tell us one way you've seen or experienced God during the past year.

God has provided a number of rich and unexpected friendships for me--a gift made all the more valuable when stacked against a season of life in which time for forging or strengthening friendships is not easy to find.

8. What is one name of God you have come to appreciate lately?

Joy-giver

9. What's one Bible verse that has been a lifeline for you recently?

Isaiah 61:1-3, which talks about how God will comfort those who mourn and provide joy instead of despair and heaviness, and how he will make us (and, I pray, my children) a "planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."

10. Where do you go to be encouraged or inspired?

Scripture.

11. Do you have any advice for other women who are in, or may be entering your season soon?

There's a country song that my daughter played recently played for me. I don't know the title (although maybe the refrain IS the title), but it says, "You're Gonna Miss This." Parenting teenagers is both a challenge (the sleep deprivation is worse now than when they were babies) and a delight (it's a blast to have adult personalities to talk and laugh with), but now that two of our four children are in college, I find myself missing the preschool and elementary school season of life. Enjoy all those soccer games, parent-teacher conferences, and seemingly pointless science projects. They go by fast!

My Season: Elizabeth Robertson Williams

2011-10-18T07:51:00.000-04:00

Photo by Eric Kelley

Next up in our My Season series? Elizabeth Robertson Williams:

Name: Elizabeth Williams
Age: 27
City: Virginia Beach, VA, but come Friday, I officially transition to Charlottesville

Current Season: Not sure what to put...you know that classic Britney Spears song "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman?" That's kind of how I feel sometimes; too old to cling to my college days, but too young to join the ranks of Jennifer Garner in 13 Going On 30 as "Thrity, Flirty, and Thriving..."

Besides being a professional mover, my current season is a working girl and as of next Monday, wife to a full-time student.

1. What is one thing things you can't live without?

Manicures, Pedicures & Mascara...I know that's three, sorry!

2. The current book(s) by your bedside table are...

One Thousand Gifts.

Also, just finished The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels by The Pioneer Woman thanks to my friend Anna Kate's fabulous recommendation, and it's a fun, easy read. A classic, pure, and honest love story.

3. Your number one song played on iTunes is...

You Never Let Go by David Crowder

4. Fill in the blanks: If I didn't have __________, I would be _____________.

If I didn't have such a love and appreciation for good food, I would be sad, but skinnier.

5. What do you like best about your current season?
Here's where the selfishness shines...I love that it's just me and Bernie. I know it won't always be that way, but I'm trying to savor every minute where it's just the two of us.

6. What is one difficulty or burden you've experienced/are facing in your current season?

The uncertainty of my life is both a blessing and a curse. I love that, with a few exceptions, we're not really tied down to anything--no house, no kids, etc. BUT so many times, I would love to feel settled and like the next 5-10 years are planned out.

7. Tell us one way you've seen or experienced God during the past year.

I have seen God go out of His way to so sweetly and specifically care and provide for me.

8. What is one name of God you have come to appreciate lately?
Provider--it kind of goes with my answer above, but I'm just blown away with how God faithfully and dearly provides for His children.

9. What's one Bible verse that has been a lifeline for you recently?

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; DWELL in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.”

Psalm 37:3 (NKJV)

10. Where do you go to be encouraged or inspired?

Friends, worship music, journaling, running/walking.

11. Do you have any advice for other women who are in, or may be entering your season soon?

Live in your "now." Whatever season you're in, embrace it. Don't look back and don't long to jump forward too soon. Be present in the day and moment God has given you.

My Season: Josie Rote Ortega

2011-10-11T07:51:00.000-04:00

From newlywed to expectant mother. Today, we get to hear from Josie Rote Ortega. You can hear more from Josie at her fabulous blog, Tell Me A Story Josie.

Here she is practicing for motherhood with Baby Hannah Capps:

Name: Josie Ortega
Age: 27
City: DC/Alexandria, VA

Current Season: Expectant Mom

1. What is one thing/things you can't live without?

Sunshine and being outside at least a little bit each day. I asked my husband what my answer for this one should be, and he said, "Candy, and . . . The Bachelorette." So that's an interesting insight on our different perspectives. (And that's the last of his answers I'll be sharing.)

2. The current book(s) by your bedside table are...

What to Expect When You're Expecting—I'm bored!; Jesus Calling; recently finished The Help; just wrangled up a few good beach books and a stack of magazines for vacation this week (PTL!).

3. Your number one song played on iTunes is...

Hilarious question! Especially since my answer is Nat King Cole's "Silent Night." A more accurate reflection of this season in my life is my Avett Brothers channel on Pandora.

4. Fill in the blanks: If I didn't have __________, I would be _____________.

If I didn't have this sweet baby girl in my belly, I would be drinking a lot more margaritas this summer!

5. What do you like best about your current season?

Everything about pregnancy has not been a breeze, but it is definitely a lot of fun—to dream and plan, to have friends (and strangers) excited about this new life, to get freaking adorable little person clothes!

More generally, obviously it's a huge transition time. So it's an opportunity—or rather it forces you—to step back and get perspective, reassess, and hopefully re-embrace the priorities you really want in your life. I've enjoyed having that time and having good, honest conversations with my husband about what we want for our family, for me professionally, for our lives.

6. What is one difficulty or burden you've experienced/are facing in your current season?
Especially during my first trimester, I felt terrible--physically, emotionally, and any other way you can think of. It was challenging to realize and admit to myself that I needed to take it easy; challenging to communicate with my husband and not blame him for what I perceived as his lack of understanding; challenging to be patient, to trust God, and get through each day. **Not everyone's pregnancy is like that, but I just want to be honest with you, dear readers!**

7. Tell us one way you've seen or experienced God during the past year.
God has been faithful to provide what I need each day. He knows what I need better than I do, and He's answered my prayers so that all I can do is say Thank You. When I was feeling alone, he brought me a friend close by who is pregnant and experiencing the same symptoms, so we could encourage each other and not feel so isolated. He has used disagreements in my marriage to make our relationship stronger and prepare us for what's coming. He has opened a new ice cream shop around the corner from my office!

8. What is one name of God you have come to appreciate lately?
Creator and Provider. If He is the author of life and the one weaving together this baby, then He is surely to be trusted in all other areas. There's so much to worry about when you're pregnant, but in reality any of our lives could end, or drastically change, at any time, and it's out of our control. (Sorry to be morbid!) Terrible things do happen in our broken world, but God is loving, powerful, and ultimately sovereign. So my only option is to hope in God, ask for His mercy, provision, and blessing.

9. What's one Bible verse that has been a lifeline for you recently?
Romans 5:5— Hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

10. Where do you go to be encouraged or inspired?
I go to my friends; a good book that tells about a great adventure; a beautiful place with trees decades older than I am; an antique shop full of fascinating, old, perhaps useless? objets d'art. Or more practically, to a quiet morning with my coffee. (Yes, I drink a cup of coffee every morning while I'm pregnant. I don't feel bad and neither does my doctor!)

11. Do you have any advice for other women who are in, or may be entering your season soon?
Yes! Everyone is different, and I mean in every way—when to have babies, whether to have babies, what to do about work, how to be healthy while pregnant, which type of delivery, which parenting style, what clothes (please don't give me any tacky ones!), where to live, big belly or small, you're not showing, you're huge!

As impossible as it is, do your best not to compare yourself with others. Advice from my wise Uncle Steve: "Talk with a lot of people and get their advice, then do what you want." Everyone's experience is different.

On the flip side though, it is a terrible idea to try to do this in a vacuum. You are not a rock or an island, so ask people for help when you need it, and probably even when you think you don't need it. Especially when I was feeling so rotten, the main thing that helped—something that's incredibly challenging for me—was opening up with my friends and being honest about what I was experiencing. I need their help!

A couple more practical tips:

1- No one pays as much attention to your body as you do (that actually applies for everyone, not just those who are expecting!), so don't worry or be offended at remarks about your tum tum, or lack of remarks, or whatever. You'll probably still be offended no matter what anyone says. And if you're talking to a pregnant lady, just say, "You look great!" (With the understanding that she still might be offended.)

2- Put your feet up whenever possible, starting as soon as you find out you're pregnant. Not only does this have physical benefits (better circulation to prevent swelling, etc.), but it's a tangible reminder for you that there's a babe growing inside so you should relax and take it easy. Serenity now!

My Season: Ansley McCarty Craine

2011-10-04T07:51:00.000-04:00

We're continuing with the My Season posts originally featured on Long to Love. Up next, we have a newlywed who is originally from Georgia, but has followed her heart to Midland, Texas to be with the man she loves. You can read more of Ansley's love story here. Here's Ansley...

Name: Ansley McCarty Craine
Age: 27
City: Midland, Tx
Current Season: Newlywed-ish

1. What is one thing things you can't live without?

Foundation/concealer

2. The current book(s) by your bedside table are...

Crazy Love and The Help

3. Your number one song played on iTunes is...

"Get on the Floor" --J Lo

4. Fill in the blanks: If I didn't have __________, I would be _____________.

If I didn't have my phone (which I don't), I would (I do) feel really disconnected.

5. What do you like best about your current season?

Spending lots of quality time with my husband!

6. What is one difficulty or burden you've experienced/are facing in your current season?

Now that I am working full time, it's much harder to have the time and energy to do things around the house. And on a less superficial level, I am being challenged about my commitment to Christ by the book, "Crazy Love." I don't want to be a lukewarm follower of Jesus.

7. Tell us one way you've seen or experienced God during the past year.

My husband, Will, and I went to a Young Life camp for mentally and or physically handicapped people. We both learned so much and were impacted by our time there with our special needs friends. At camp I saw how truly patient God is with us especially since we are so prone to wander off, seek our own way, forget that he provides, not believe that what he says is true, question why, and doubt his plan. He is so patient with us despite the fact that we do these same things over and over again. My eyes were opened to this immense patience as I found myself growing weary of being patient.

8. What is one name of God you have come to appreciate lately?

God, the Redeemer

9. What's one Bible verse that has been a lifeline for you recently?

Philippians 4:4-8:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

10. Where do you go to be encouraged or inspired?

Other than the Bible, my husband and family.

11. Do you have any advice for other girls who are in, or may be entering, your season soon?

Always do your best to communicate and clear the air of any tension or frustration that could build and stand in between you and your husband, friends, family, and co-workers too.

My Season: Sarah Munford

2011-09-29T08:29:00.002-04:00

We're continuing to feature the "My Season Series" originally posted on Long to Love. Today, we get to hear from recent college grad, Sarah Munford. Sarah is an incredibly talented, fun, and amazing girl who just graduated from UVA in May. Here's Sarah...

Name: Sarah Munford
Age: 21
City: I'm currently home in Virginia Beach, but move to Boston in a month!
Current Season: College Graduate

1. What is one thing things you can't live without?

My very first thought was cheese, but honestly, I can't live without being near the ocean or some body of water.

2. The current book(s) by your bedside table are...

I've got quite a stack due to all my free time this summer. Im currently reading The Social Animal by David Brooks, Franny & Zooey by J.D. Salinger, The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoesvsky, and Kingdom, Grace, Judgement by Robert Capon.

3. Your number one song played on iTunes is...

Truthfully (and embarrassingly), it's Cry by Hans Zimmer from the Holiday Soundtrack because that soundtrack is my go-to study album. This summer though, I've been on a major The Decemberists kick.

4. Fill in the blanks: If I didn't have __________, I would be _____________.
If I didn't have so many great blogs to read, I would be more social with all this free time!

5. What do you like best about your current season?

Ahh the excitement of a new place and new people! I know practically no one in Boston, but I LOVE meeting new people. I am so pumped to explore a new city -particularly one with pro sports teams, finally! And I'm really looking forward to what I think will be a great taste of a non-profit career. But literally right now, I'm loving taking a break and reflecting on the awesome 4 years I had and the amazing people I met in college, knowing they'll continue to be a part of whatever happens in the next stage too!

6. What is one difficulty or burden you've experienced/are facing in your current season?

I'm totally taking the cop-out and using the flip-side of question 5: the most difficult thing has been facing a lot of unknowns. I'm afraid I won't find a new church I like as much as Christ Church, worried I'll experience what my friends refer to as FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) while most of my UVA friends live together in DC, scared about Boston's freezing weather, anxious my boss won't like me... so many fears. I suppose I can sum up my main burden as focusing too much on worries about tomorrow. Trusting God's plan for me and enjoying the present was especially difficult during the craze of figuring out my job and post-grad plan coupled with wanting to live-it-up with my friends at UVA during the last months of college.

7. Tell us one way you've seen or experienced God during the past year.

Throughout this year, God has known and given me what I needed when I had no idea what that was. My heart was pulled towards jobs I didn't get, I was pumped to live with a roommate in Boston that fell through, and time and time again through closing certain doors, He nudged me towards things that were far better. And most fantastically, He really gave me a sense of peace about certain decisions in the times when I was actually able to let go of control and trust His direction. Senior year of college is a fun, but also stressful, time for everyone and to know there is a God with more control than us is actually so freeing in a lot ways.

8. What is one name of God you have come to appreciate lately?

Potter and Revealer: First, I've thought a lot about God being the shape of my life, and I, the clay, needing to surrender to His molding. Secondly, I've realized how little I always know of God's plan for me as He works in ways I don't always understand, so I'm constantly surprised and pleased as he reveals to me both Himself and parts of His plan for my life.

9. What's one Bible verse that has been a lifeline for you recently?

Psalm 23:6 (The Message): "Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life." I'm just obsessed with the verb "chase," like there's no escaping it.

10. Where do you go to be encouraged or inspired?

I usually put on some good music and find a place to be alone, whether it's the beach or a hot shower. And of course, I often turn to my best friends. This summer, I've also really missed Christ Church in Charlottesville, so when I need a good pick-me-up, I listen to the sermons on their website.

11. Do you have any advice for other girls who are in, or may be entering, your season soon?

In this stage in my life, I find myself asking for advice far more than giving it... job tips, Boston restaurant suggestions, insurance and taxes questions, (basically anything about the "real world"), but here are a few reminders that always helped me:

1. There's no set post-grad course. Most people think of only one thing post-college: jobs. But there are so many other aspects of post-grad life that you have to sort out, and no matter how much advice you get from people, no one can tell you the best choices for you. I visited a friend yesterday who owns her own house and lives two blocks away from her parents. I've been to other friends' weddings this summer. My two best guy friends are moving to London and Dubai. There are absolutely pros to all of these new life choices that my friends have made, and all of them are extremely happy, but none of those decisions are right for me now. There's clearly no one path you have to take, so sort out what your priorities and interests are - not those of your friends, your older siblings, your parents, etc. This sounds so simple and obvious, but when swarmed by a million people always offering their opinions on what's best, it's difficult to figure out what you want. And when all else fails, there was nothing better for me than just pleading in prayer, "God, I have no idea what I want or how to align my will with Yours. Please help me."

2. This is such a big transition stage so don't forget to take time to reflect and breathe. I am SO happy that I decided to give myself 2 months of relaxation before I started work. I've been able to sleep 8+ hours every night, read a ton, catch up with friends, hang with family, travel, and journal. As my last summer possibly ever, I'm so glad I was able to pause and reflect on my college years and get excited about the years to come without jumping tiredly, directly from one stage to the next. I mean, come on, who doesn't like being a beach bum?!

My Season: Abby Robertson

2011-09-21T07:57:00.002-04:00

Starting today, we are going to be featuring a series of posts I featured last month on Long to Love. We took several different girls, all in the midst of various seasons, and asked them their thoughts on faith and life. Hope you enjoy!!

Today, we get to hear from the youngest and arguably the nicest of my sisters, Abby. Not only is Abby beautiful, but she is beyond fun and incredibly compassionate. Her name means JOY and I just can't tell you what a joy she is in my life. As the youngest of five, she completes our family in countless ways and I simply adore her.

Name: Abby Robertson

Age: 21

City: Virginia Beach/Los Angeles/Charlottesville

Current Season: College Student

1. What is one thing things you can't live without?

Besides family and friends (duhh), I’d have to say music and cheese.

2. The current book(s) by your bedside table are...

The Help, Jesus Calling, my Bible

3. Your number one song played on iTunes is...

That’s a doozy but I’d have to go with “Don’t Worry Baby” by the Beach Boys. Or any and all Justin Timberlake.

4. Fill in the blanks: If I didn't have ________, I would be __________

If I didn't have to go to school, I would be a back up dancer for the Black Eyed Peas.

5. What do you like best about your current season?

It’s unpredictable. I never know what I will be doing with my days or where my life will take me in the next 12 months.

6. What is one difficulty or burden you've experienced/are facing in your current season?

When I first came to college it was really hard for me find a good weekly fellowship group so I started relying on church as my only weekly time with Christian people. Although I tried a few different campus fellowships in my first year, my schedule was so sporadic I never started regular attending any of them. I kept making excuses to myself about why I could not go to them until I was so far away from my routine of having a weekly fellowship outside of church and doing daily quiet times I no longer cared or tried to put them back in my life. Because of this, all the friends I was making were only in social settings where I never felt comfortable talking about my faith and our relationships were mostly founded on what parties we went to and what we liked to do on weekends. I found myself coming out of first year feeling like I had a really fun year but was not as content with the relationships I made. I was frequently praying God would bring me Christian friends but I wasn’t really pursuing looking for them.

It was not until my second year when a group of friends from my pledge class signed up for a missions trip that I even realized that God already had brought me an amazing group of Christian friends I had just never bothered to make that connection with them. Although I did not go on the mission trip that year, I still felt closer to my friends than I had all of college.

My third year of college I finally actively pursued joining a Bible study and it was one of the best decisions I made all year. Even though at times it was hard to get off my couch and go, I decided to make it a priority. Once I would get there I would instantly feel uplifted and happy I made it a part of my night. I was so exctied to have finally established a group like that in college.

Spring of my third year, I finally decided to go on the missions trip that my friends had been on the year before. It was one of the greatest things I have done in college and after the trip, I finally felt like I had the fellowship group I had yearned for all of college. I guess this is a round about way of saying my biggest challenge in college was finding a good group of Christian friends to bring me back down from the crazy college lifestyle and remind me of the type of person I really am. As my mother has always reminded me from 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Bad company corrupts good character.” I would never say I have ever had bad friends in college but I will say that college can be a very risky four years if you do not surround yourself with people who are going to help you stay on track. College is a different place where it is more important than ever to make sure you have a supportive group of friends.

7. Tell us one way you've seen or experienced God during the past year.

Wow there have been too many to pick. A big one that I touched on above definitely just has to deal with bringing me back into a Christian network of people and providing me with a Bible study and great group of friends.

Another way though I’ve experienced God is just in realizing how he has a plan for every part of my life. I have always been a relaxed person because I truly believe everything happens for a reason and even the bad things in my life are all part of God’s greater plan. This year I was really nervous about what I was going to do with my summer. I wanted to come back out to Los Angeles but when I was thinking about what that entailed I would just get a pit in my stomach going through all the details I needed to take care of and did not think it would be realistic. When I finally got the call saying that I had a job out in LA my stomach lurched at the thought of dealing with housing, my car, and all the details in between. Within days, however, God provided me with all the things I needed to make it an easy, comfortable move out to California for the summer.

Oddly enough, I also experienced God through one of the hardest things I have gone through this summer. When my friend Caitlin and I first moved out to California we had arranged to live in UCLA apartments. This seemed like a great idea because we would be in a college town so with people our own age and be in walking distance of restaurants. I was starting to really get used to California and was having a great time, but for some reason when I boarded the plane to come home for my sister’s wedding I just felt like I was sinking into a slump of hanging out with people who were not encouraging me in my faith. I felt like I was kind of concealing that part of my life to the people I was meeting out here and I was not happy about it. One thing I loved about coming to California the previous summer was getting a break from the college scene of crazy people and lots of drinking and hanging out with my brother’s friends who are so refreshing and fun. While I was home I really prayed that God would keep me away from the wrong crowd and give Caitlin and me a memorable summer that was different than anything we had ever done before.

The week I returned from my sister’s wedding we started having serious problems with our subletters and also discovered we had a stalker by our first floor bathroom that the police had been looking for over the past six months. Although the stalker was a terrifying ordeal, God turned that awful event into a huge blessing because it allowed us to leave the apartment mid-lease and move into a much more comfortable family friend’s guest house. Through that awful event God answered so many of my prayers. We were able to get out of the UCLA area and distance ourselves from the people I felt were dragging me down. I feel enormously blessed by God this summer and really saw His hand on that awful ordeal.

8. What is one name of God you have come to appreciate lately?

The name I appreciate the most lately would have to be Protector. The past few months, one of my favorite prayers is to constantly ask God to protect me. Whether I am asking God to protect me from the lunatic LA drivers or to keep me away from the wrong people and the wrong boys, I have definitely seen him protecting my life in major ways. Although it is a nerve racking prayer to ask when you are content with those around you or a relationship you’re in, I always remind myself that I truly am happiest when I am doing what the Lord wants me to and if he is not happy with the people in my life then I will be weighed down.

9. What's one Bible verse that has been a lifeline for you recently?

“Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are those who keep his statues and seek Him with all their heart” (Psalm 119:1-2)

10. Where do you go to be encouraged or inspired?

To hang out with someone whose faith I admire and I know will intentionally or not encourage me in my own faith.

11. Do you have any advice for other girls who are in, or may be entering, your season soon?

My one piece of advice for any girl entering college or in college would be to make seeking a Christian group of friends or fellowship group a priority in your life.

A Good And Perfect Gift

2011-08-29T11:05:00.006-04:00

It's hard to believe that nearly a year ago we welcomed speaker and author, Amy Julia Becker, to Virginia Beach for our fall luncheon...since that time, Amy Julia has welcomed her third child and has also put the finishing touches on her new book, due out this week!

In A Good and Perfect Gift, A: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny, Amy Julia "opens eyes and softens hearts as she brings readers into her own story of disappointment turned into blessing" and discovering strength through weakness.

Read more about Amy Julia's book here, or visit her website for a sneak peek.

Want to pre-order A Good and Perfect Gift? Click here!

Friendship Series Week Four

2011-07-07T06:32:00.003-04:00

Alas, our Friendship Series has come to an end. See below for the final talk from our Friendship Series on Loneliness & Connection:

Friendship Series Week Three

2011-06-27T07:55:00.003-04:00

See below for the third installment of our Friendship Series. One more to go! There's still time to join us, click here for all the details.

Friendship Series Week Two

2011-06-21T08:47:00.002-04:00

Two weeks down, and two more to go! Check out Week Two of our Friendship Series below:

There's still time to join us for the last two sessions. Click here for all the details!

Friendship Series Week One: Finding—and Being—a Good Friend

2011-06-14T10:15:00.003-04:00

We had a great first week at our Changing Seasons Friendship study! We still have three more weeks to go and we'd love for you to join us on Wednesday evenings or Thursday mornings. Click here for all the details.

In case you missed last week, or you'd like to watch it again, check out the video below:

Friendship: Doubling Joy & Dividing Grief

2011-05-10T07:27:00.004-04:00

By Jodie Berndt

One of my high school English teachers always had an interesting quotation or kernel of wisdom written in the top right-hand corner of her blackboard. One of my favorites was an old Swedish proverb: Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief. Today, some 30 years later, I can still see the words written in her neat, cursive hand. Having wended my way through college, a career, married life, and parenting four children, the value of having friends—the kind who magnify your joy and help carry your grief—seems greater than ever.

All of us want to have good friends—people who treat us with patience, kindness, and love. On the flip side, we steer clear of folks who are rude, boastful, and selfish, or given to traits like jealousy or anger. And when we find that true friend—the one who has our complete trust, the one who protects our reputation and our relationship, the one who sticks with us, even when it’s not easy or convenient—we know we have found a treasure.

I am, of course, talking about the kind of friend described in 1 Corinthians 13, a passage written by the Apostle Paul that is commonly known as “The Love Chapter.” Paul wraps up his discussion by focusing on three enduring traits: Faith, Hope, and Love. No friendship is perfect, but if a relationship has these three qualities, it’s likely to be both lasting and valuable.

Take stock of your friendships. Do the people you surround yourself with kindle your faith your faith, fueling it to burn brighter? Or, do their comments and attitudes instill things like worry, fear, and doubt?

Do your friends point you toward hope? Do they expect the best, helping you walk into the future with confidence—even when the road ahead is not easily seen?

And do your companions demonstrate love—the kind that doesn’t ebb and flow with circumstances? Do they extend grace when you fall, offer courage in the face of fear, and stand by your side in adversity?

Now, turn the questions around. Are you a friend who holds out faith, hope, and love? Be alert, in the days ahead, to the opportunities you’ll have to demonstrate these qualities. Whether you are doubling someone’s joy or dividing her sorrow, you’ll be bearing the mark of love. And love, as Paul wrote all those years ago, never fails.

Want to learn more about friendship? Don't miss our 4-week Friendship Study this June! Click here for all the details.

Changing Seasons Friendship Study

2011-05-04T19:32:00.005-04:00

We're just one month away from our June study. This year we're excited to feature a four-week study on friendship led by Jodie Berndt. Check out the video below for more info:

The Friendship Study

begins Wednesday, June 8 at 7:30

Thursday, June 9th at 9:00*

The Princess Anne Country Club

3800 Pacific Avenue

Virginia Beach

To sign up, email Elizabeth Williams at Elizabeth@changingseasons.com.

See you in June!

Click here for more info.

*Child care provided on Thursday mornings

It's Your Serve

2011-04-19T07:32:00.002-04:00

Image from TennisServer.com

When you say the word serve, some people think food--as in, "What are you serving for dinner?" Others picture a slice, a spin, or even an ace. And still others hear the word and immediately think about caring for others, meeting needs in both tangible and intangible ways.

On Friday, April 15th, all three of these images came together in one marvelous night as Changing Seasons hosted its first-ever Tennis Social to benefit PIN Ministries, a Virginia Beach-based organization dedicated to serving the city's homeless population with things like food, medical care, and shelter. Tennis players and fans alike gathered at the Princess Anne Country Club to enjoy an evening of good food, good fun, and good fellowship. By night's end, we had a queen of the court (Laura Putney), a queen of the kitchen (kudos to Meg Zoretic for the delectable court-side appetizers!), and a nice chunk of money raised for People in Need (PIN). To make a donation, get involved, or find out more about PIN Ministry, please go to www.PinMinistry.org.

Finally, special thanks go to Brenda Smith for envisioning and organizing this wonderful event, and to PACC tennis director John and Charmagne Fraser for helping us all "improve our serve."

Hope to see everyone at the Friendship Study in June...watch your email and this website for more details!

Tennis Social

2011-04-08T07:08:00.004-04:00

On Friday, April 15^th, Changing Seasons will host its first-ever "Tennis Aerobics Social"—a fundraiser to benefit People in Need. PIN Ministries is a Virginia Beach-based organization dedicated to serving the homeless with food, shelter, medical care, and other resources. Partnering with PIN in this effort is a natural outgrowth of the Changing Seasons vision, which is foster connections within our community, showcase God's love in tangible ways, and equip people to live lives marked by joy, purpose, and hope.

Tennis players and spectators alike will gather at the Princess Anne Country Club from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. On-the-court action will feature games and drills with the PACC teaching pros, while friends and fans mingle courtside to enjoy appetizers, beverages, and good company. Stay tuned to this blog for an update on the event and, in the meantime, go to www.pinministry.org to find out how you can get involved with PIN in the important work that they are doing!

Check out this great video on the impact PIN is making in our community:

To sign-up for the event, click here.